IN YOUR FACE

October 30, 2015 in Events, Musings, Uncategorized

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Coming to you this December 3rd, 4th and 5th ONE Presents: “IN YOUR FACE” staring Tony Eusoff, Ashley Chan, Sean Chong, Lalitha Monisha, Kuah Jenhan, Prakash Daniel  and Shamaine Othman and Myself. This year we are bringing you a variety show like no other, from Bollywood to EDM to 80’s classics. We’ve pulled out all the stops to ensue we leave you wanting more!!

Written By Shamaine Othman, Choreographed by Michael Tan, Music Production by Daniel Verrapen and Directed by Llew Marsh

The show will be held at ‘Connexion @ Nexus, Bangsar South’ 

Starting @ 8:30PM

Tickets: 1st Release: RM58 / 78 / 98    Second Release: RM68 / 88/ 108 

You can purchase tickets @ www.ticketpro.com.my 

Be sure to purchase your tickets fast to avoid disappointment!

 

 

 

ESQUIRE: THE WHITE WASH THEORY

October 22, 2015 in Uncategorized

 
esquire article 

“Esquire Malaysia May 2011″  http://www.esquire.my

Esquire have kindly allowed me to reprint the monthly articles that I’ve been writing for them for the last few years. This week’s blast from the past comes from April 2011. Check out Esquire Malayisa each month for my latest articles.

Sweet like chocolate? Maybe not. Here’s why some girls say vanilla is the best.

Let me tell you something I always tell my audiences: I am no SPG—but my friends are. Yes, we comics must always have some truth in what we say, and in this matter, as I looked lovingly across the room to the corner where my friends were sitting, I could not tell a lie. If you don’t already know, the Sarong Party Girl is what we call the Asian lady who seems to only want white boys. This begs the question: Is there a big difference between going out with a white man and seeing an Asian/Malaysian guy? And why does the SPG/ expatriate dating scene only serve to describe Asian/Caucasian hook-ups when it really should cover all expats? And for that matter, you know I was once berated by some Chinese dude at a bar for apparently being sweet on the white lads? Why, that’s just preposterous. Everyone knows I prefer dark meat. So, back to the question: Are expat men any better? To answer that, we have to look at what women—in general want: I call it “The Three S’s”, which stands for sex, security and swept [away]. Let’s start with swept [away]. According to my SPG friends, expats are experts at wooing. They know the art of romance. They charm and they seduce. They surprise you with gifts and sexy escapades. Some women might say this sounds a lot like entrapment, but what girl doesn’t like to be won over with lustrous pursuits? Look, in these tough times, you don’t have to cart us o to some exotic island getaway. We’ll even take the Ku De Ta at Singapore’s Marina Bay Sands. The sad part is, most local men will put a price on sweeping a woman o her feet. “Eighty dollars? That’s two hundred ringgit! Can’t we just sit by the pool? It’s not bad, what.” You wouldn’t get that from an expat, say the SPGs. They’re assertive— sometimes aggressive—and if they want you, they don’t waste any time. In my own experience, I have to say I’ve had cobwebs in my basement waiting for an Asian guy to tell me he fancied some of this. Next is the matter of security. There are two stereotypical SPGs who go for the expats—the lady who lingers longer at the bar than anyone else, and the woman who stays longer at the office than anyone else. For both of them, it’s the foreign currency salary potential of the expat male that’s desirable. That and the extra perks that usually come with the job. You know, the free housing, the expense account, the green card… One expat friend of mine just spent ten thousand ringgit on a kitchen table. All I could think was, for that kind of money, you can eat your dinner o me! And finally, there’s the sex. Are the expats better in bed than the locals? The truth is, all men aren’t born equal, and maybe some foreigners have a genetic advantage over our Malaysian brothers. But size isn’t everything, and while I’ve got nothing to complain about, strength and stamina will eventually summarise a man’s performance. As a Chinese girlfriend who’s now sleeping with her first white guy says about her new love life: “OMG, my ex only fifteen minutes, but this one damn long!”

ESQUIRE: THE DIRTIEST MOUTH IN MALAYSIA

October 15, 2015 in Blog Posts, Musings

 

 “Esquire Malaysia November 2011”  http://www.esquire.my

Esquire have kindly allowed me to reprint the monthly articles that I’ve been writing for them for the last few years. This week’s blast from the past comes from April 2011. Check out Esquire Malayisa each month for my latest articles.

WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT 

Growing up, there were lots of things in life I was looking forward to achieving. Being known as “The Dirtiest Mouth in Malaysia” wasn’t exactly one of
them. My reputation as the woman with the most notorious comedy act in town has earned me many titles. Outrageous. Naughty. Bitchy. Some even say I am vulgar and I have a mouth that makes unfamiliar with my work as to what I do for a living, I always shock them by say- ing that I tell the dirtiest jokes in town and get paid doing it. Personally, I don’t think that I’m racy, although I do admit that Asian women don’t generally go on stage and talk about men’s equipment, or trade stories about their sexual escapades. In terms of men’s genitalia, I classify the Malay- sian man as a cluster of different types of men. We have the Chinese, who I en- dearingly call the “lap cheongs”—short, stumpy, salty [they do tend to get salty once in a while], the Malays who I find are slightly spiced like their “satays,” and of course one must never leave out the Indians; they can get quite crunchy like “papadams.” Our Eurasian brothers are what I would call “rojak”—sweet, spicy and their topping of nuts can be quite generous. Mind you, it’s not like I woke up one day and found myself spewing sexual innuendos like a bitch in heat and look- ing like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. My education into the field of sexual con- notation came much later in life; in fact you could say that I had no choice but to stage it.
In my defence, when I told my first dirty joke, I was still a virgin. We all have to start somewhere. I remember being backstage and being coached on stories of countless sexual tapestries of every colour and imagination by alter- native lifestyle tutors who were mostly gay. I sucked in every ounce of juice they dished and prayed that I was able to grasp enough knowledge to make my delivery believable. Just like faking an orgasm,onehastotimeitjustrightforit to be ecstatic with a tone of honesty. So, I went on stage and gave it the best or- gasmic performance I could muster and was received rapturously.
Honestly, it was like Snow White doing her first “tiger show,” then elop- ing with seven men, and then headlin- ing “Snow on My Blossum” on the Vegas Strip. But that was quite a long while ago, and along the way I’ve picked up a few new tricks. And as I embrace all the titles given to me and my persona with grace, it’s nice to know that it will all just be me, Kam in your face. Revolting and pleasingly so.

 

Just shot the first Augmented Reality Interview 

October 13, 2015 in Events, Photos

  
Want to watch the entire interview? Watch this space for further information! 

Dinner in the sky

September 23, 2015 in Uncategorized

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Dinner in sky last night an awesome experience ….so only 20paxs per time and as usual we were the loudest entertaining not only the chef and the server boys but the guest on our immediate right as well. VThe perfect company and a haze free night as well.